This picture absolutely sums up another successful Fondue and Vision Board New Year’s Eve! You know it was a good time when you wake up with glitter on your face, a full face of make-up (apologies to my esthetician and my sometimes judgmental teenage daughter), and you instantly start laughing in bed. We left 2018 enjoying the company of old and new friends, missing our dear friend Lori who’s always with us on New Year’s but is traveling this year, and trying very hard to take a selfie with a wiggly dog named Muffin. It was perfect.
I started doing a numbered list of goals on my vision board several years ago, and thought it might be fun to recap the progress I made on 2018’s list since people always ask me, “Do vision boards actually work?”
They definitely work for me. I’ve always said that setting 10 resolutions is a good idea since I know I won’t ever do all 10, so I shoot for knocking out 6 or 7 of them, and consider that a success. 2018 was proof of that. I worked hard and saved money, and I’ve never been good about saving. I did absolutely nothing about the book I finished several years ago, but I did take a really cool writing workshop and met one of my writing heroes, so I made some progress there. I got rid of a lot of things, but there’s always more work to do in the decluttering department.
I started the year out taking a lot of barre classes, then got really sick and landed in the hospital, learned I had several scary health issues, and slowly got back at it. I eventually traded barre for yoga, and I’m still cracked up about that because if you’d told me that I’d be into yoga even a year ago, I would have never, ever believed you.
A work trip to Boston helped me get creative and turn it into a personal trip to New York, and I took my 15 year-old daughter ER along for the ride, which was her first trip there, and it was really great to see the city through the eyes of a teen. I let her pick our activities, and instead of going to Broadway shows or fancy outings, she opted for a day at the Met, and a day spent walking from thrift store to thrift store, and a visit to Glossier, otherwise known to parents of teens as the 7th circle of hell.
I love writing but I’m a pretty terrible reader, but I did manage to increase the book buying and reading in 2018. I joined an anti racism book club that flopped after the first meeting because we were all too busy to get together again. I tried to reduce nighttime screen time by reading more, but reruns of “The Golden Girls” and Facebook often tempted me away from books. It’s a work in progress!
We didn’t move, and that’s okay. The timing’s still not right, and it will happen when it needs to happen.
Marfa has been on my vision board for at least 4 years and that still didn’t happen. 2019 is going to be The Year of Marfa, I just know it!
We had a LOT of really quality family time in 2018, and several really great family trips. That meant an increase in big family fights, but I always say that the family trips get better and better the longer the time passes. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, so much that we actually think we had a good time at Disney World when we went in 2011 (if you’d asked me in 2011 I wouldn’t have been so sure).
The scary health crisis in April led to a lot of positive change, which included meditation. My friend Lori invited me to a Sunday evening guided meditation, and though the first few times were super uncomfortable for me, I started “getting it” the more I went. The instructor is an incredibly patient and non-judgmental guy, and encourages his students to meditate on their own on the days where group meditation isn’t available. I’ve not been very dedicated on that end. I added a few meditation apps, but the weird, whispery voices bugged me. As my incredibly observant mom said, “You need to meditate with people!” She totally gets me.
So I’ll consider 2018 was a win despite a ridiculously turbulent political climate, a near-death situation, and learning that the true key to life for me is learning to ease up on myself.
With that, here’s my list for 2019:
I’d really like to get a book out in the world, even if I have to self-publish, something that so many successful writers do but I still have “agent and traditional publishing” getting in the way of my progress. It’s weird that my dream isn’t to have a best seller (though who wouldn’t love that?), rather, it’s to have a book that I can hold in my hands and that my friends would enjoy reading. The second level of dreaming includes getting to talk about that book on “The Today Show,” and being in an airport, watching a woman reading it, finish it, and hand it to someone and tell them they absolutely must read it because it made them laugh AND cry. I guess part of why I love writing is I get to create these farfetched fantasies.
I want to continue saving money. I’m feeling optimistic about that.
I really, really want to go to Marfa.
Perhaps I added “no fried foods” last night after drinking several glasses of champagne. That said, while I got much healthier in 2018, I didn’t lose quite the amount of weight I’d hoped. Though I’m stronger physically than I’ve ever been, there are things I can’t do in yoga because my stupid belly is in the way. I’ll quote my friend Shay who says, “Just because it’s vegan doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” And he’s right. Though I moved into what another friend refers to as a “veganesque” lifestyle, I figured out ways to indulge by eating fried veggies, fried vegan egg rolls, fried whatever. So I’ll see how this one goes, because I realized after pasting this on my board that I forgot about FRENCH FRIES. What have I done?
I set a goal in mid-2018 to do a headstand in yoga, and my sweet and patient teacher slapped my legs up in the air and for a brief moment, I was there, and then I fully panicked. Like lost my mind panicking and had to say, while fully upside down, “Sorry, class! I’m scared! I’m scared! Put me down!” I waited for a few more months then tried it in another class at a different studio, and did the exact same thing to another sweet teacher and poor traumatized class. So I can’t really consider that a successful headstand. I’m going to do it in 2019. And when I do it on my own, I’ll be sure someone takes a picture to prove it.
20 pounds. Even if it’s 10, I’ll be happy. Work in progress. #Easeup.
I’d like to keep meditating and figure out what’s so great about doing it without a group of people there to do it with me.
I still want to go on a smooth jazz cruise. I LOVE smooth jazz. I’m old enough and confident enough to admit it to the masses now. Because it’s relaxing and oddly sexy and you know you love it, too. If I happen to go on a smooth jazz cruise and George Benson is there, I’ll lose my ever loving mind. I might even do a headstand to celebrate it. The problem is I can’t find anyone who will go with me except possibly my friend Bonnie so Bonnie, let’s talk!
#9 has everything to do with the fact that I mistrust two things in the world: mute buttons and cruise control. However, my 71 year-old father, one of the most measured and risk averse people I know, just told me over the holidays that he drives with cruise control, adding, “It’s been around for many years; they’ve had plenty of time to perfect it.” I figure if Dad of all people trusts it, I need to give it a shot. Plus, my adult stepchildren observed that on our Christmas trip to my hometown, I consistently drove ten miles under the speed limit (very true), so perhaps we can get places a little faster in 2019, giving me more time to meditate and fantasize about french fries.
My final goal for 2019 crams a lot of expectation into it. Overall, I want to be more loving. I’d like to spend less time fighting with my fabulously patient husband, and more time holding hands and enjoying our time together. I want to be a less judgmental parent and spend more time listening and loving the fleeting moments while our teenager is still living under our roof. I’m going to keep working on loving Trump supporters even though dang, you guys make it difficult. I’m NOT going to work on loving Trump, though. I draw the line there.
I’m going to work on loving the planet more and trying to be more environmentally conscious. I’d like to volunteer more. I’m going to keep learning to love my job which challenges me more than any job I’ve ever had. I’m going to learn to love days where my depression kicks in and I don’t feel motivated to do anything on my list. I’m going to keep loving Al Roker, smooth jazz, and lazy rivers. I hope to have plenty of days where I wake up laughing.
Please share your goals for 2019! I love you all.
