Yesterday, on my absolute favorite day of the year, I was rushing around getting ready for our annual vision board and fondue night when I gave into an impulse buy at Target. Years behind the trend, I finally have a little light up sign board to make clever signs!
The first sign is super classy. It reads, “HAPPY FU#KING NEW YEAR!”
I should probably explain that.
For starters, Tim and I were going to start 2020 by quitting cussing, but that ended abruptly this morning when I burned my hand making black-eyed peas. There’s no better time to use the Big F word than in the kitchen, or at least that’s what I learned when I was a kid and my stepfather James, who never cursed, broke a dish in the dishwasher and I heard him say a big bad word and I was both terrified and completely cracked up all at the same time. From that day on, I knew that if a person rarely if ever cusses and then uses cuss words extremely sparingly, the words have more power.
We all have some kind of relationship with the Big F word. I know people who use it all the time and won’t edit themselves no matter the audience. I know others who I’m pretty certain haven’t said it even once. I’m somewhere in between. I pay attention to the audience, but if one slips out, I’ll often stop and ask that person to pardon my French.
The Big F word, to me, has lost its impact quite a bit because it’s ridiculously overused these days and in many ways has become a filler word – almost a new “like” or “you know.” I’ve recently started wearing my FitBit again and thought it would be cool if I could add an option to buzz when I cuss just to help make me more aware of it – like an electronic swear word jar. Has someone invented that yet?
Anyway, back to the story behind the New Year’s Eve sign. When ER was in about first grade, she had a friend who lived in the neighborhood whose mother had a comfortable relationship with Jesus, fruity body spray, and the Big F word. We invited the mother and her then-boyfriend over for our small New Year’s gathering, and that night, the mom formed a comfortable relationship with several adult beverages, and the poor gal got schnockered. She and the then-boyfriend canoodled on the couch to the point where others in the room felt uncomfortable, and then, rather abruptly, the couple got up to leave and the woman stood at the front door and yelled loud enough for everyone to hear,
“Happy F#cking New Year!”
And that was that. Off they went while the rest of us sat in our small living room, jaws on the floor. It was so awkward and unexpected that it was an unforgettable moment in our otherwise tame history of New Year’s Eve shindigs. I’m pretty sure the mother didn’t remember that it happened, and I certainly didn’t want to remind her of that weird scene so we never spoke of it again.
Of course this expression stuck, so every New Year’s Eve, we all have to say it. So naturally with yesterday’s impulse buy, I had to break it in with our favorite New Year’s phrase.
In 2020, I promise to try and keep it classier! Happy New Year!
